Trusting God

I know, two posts in one day, after such sporadic blogging for so long. But sometimes multiple things hit me at once. Such was the case in church today. I decided to forgo the millions of church options around Berrien Springs and watch the Florida Hospital Church live via streaming video on their website. I love Pastor Andy's sermons, and often they really hit me. That was the case today when the message was exactly what I needed to hear.

Yesterday I had another freak-out over money. The financial ramifications of dropping out of my chaplaincy program are HUGE, and money is now going to be much more tight. I am usually able to trust that everything will work out, but sometimes (like yesterday) when I am trying to figure out the bills and plan the month, I really freak out. I can't see how it will work out, and evil insurance companies can really exacerbate the problem. I don't regret my decision to pursue counseling, but I was still beginning to panic.

In church today, the discussion was on Mary and the trust and bravery she demonstrated by accepting God's plan for her to bear Jesus. Andy mentioned several other examples from the Bible when God's plan seemed impossible. The example of Gideon (Judges 7) really struck me. God had called him to deliver Israel from Midian. After a lot of discussion and the signs of the fleece, Gideon was finally willing to follow God's plan. But then God threw another wrench into the plan. He told Gideon that the Israelite army was too many, and if they did defeat the Midianites, they would think it was because of their own strength. So God wanted to reduce Gideon's army. He took them from 32,000 down to 300, less than 1% of their original size! 300 men against an army of about 135,000 (450 times the size of Gideon's 300 men). This certainly seemed like an impossible plan, but that's how God wanted it. He purposely made His plan look impossible. If it did make sense, and Gideon could see how it would all work out, the people wouldn't put their trust in God or give Him the credit. God didn't command that Gideon not be scared, He was OK with him being scared (7:10). Faith does not mean the absence of fear. Gideon just had to follow God's plan, even though he was scared and it didn't make any sense at all.

I guess if my plans "fall through" and things look absolutely impossible, that may be exactly how God wants them. Today's sermon, and this story, were telling me to trust and follow God's plan, even though I am scared and it doesn't make sense. My job is not to figure out the how. My task is to follow what God tells me. I don't ignore the details and act recklessly. But I don't let the insurmountable difficulties make me give up on God.