A Kingdom Rebuilding

Once upon a time, there was a king who ruled a wonderful city. He looked out of his palace at his city, and remarked how great it was. Industry and economy were beginning to thrive. The countryside was beginning to take shape. Tall buildings were built, and it was starting to look like a great city. Sure, there was some grumbling by the people, but the king paid no attention. After all, things were beginning to pick up and the economy was booming. The concerns should be squelched in no time. The king was beginning to enjoy the fruits of his labor.

Suddenly, the queen came before him and said she was leaving. The king was stunned, albeit not completely surprised. He knew she was unhappy, but with all of his duties and his focus on building the city, he didn’t know what to do about it. He had dismissed her complaints too, assuming they would also be assuaged when things began to take shape and flourish. The king ran after her, begging her to stay, but to no avail. As she approached the door, a bomb exploded, blowing the door wide open. She walked out, taking from the kingdom as she left.

For a long time, the king sat in stunned disbelief. He returned to his room, not believing what had happened. He would not admit that his perfect city was damaged. But the problem continued. For you see, the explosion from the door did not stop there. While the king’s palace was made of stone and did not burn, the rest of the city was not so fortunate. There were dilapidated houses which immediately caught fire. There was new construction that stood no chance. Soon it became evident that the entire city was in peril. Paralyzed with fear, the king didn’t know what to do. His usual resources now seemed woefully inadequate.

He thought about the nearby cities. He could call for help. But what would they think of him as a king? Shouldn’t he be able to protect his own city? How would this affect his relationships with the other leaders? He didn’t know them well, and rarely talked with them. But he knew he needed help. He had heard that one of the nearby cities had a fire several years before. Surely they would understand. He went to the queen of the city and told her of the disaster. The queen dispatched her own people to help the city. The king began asking other neighboring cities for help. Slowly at first, but as the responses soared, the king began to get revitalized. More and more cities came to help and before long, the fires were put out. The king returned to his palace and threw himself on his bed. He was relieved that it was over. He breathed a sigh of relief.

He began to think about the city, and went out to survey it. What he saw amazed him. The king was no longer looking through his rose colored windows at the city. He now saw for himself what his city was like. His great tall buildings were now a pile of rubbish and a big hole in the ground. He discovered that in the haste of his construction, shortcuts had been made. Beautiful facades had covered up inadequate materials and poor craftsmanship. But now the facade was gone, and the truth was laid bare. Foundations were poor and sometimes non-existent. The king soon realized that it was far from over. It was now time to rebuild. And the rebuilding would take much longer. He was going to do it right this time. He didn’t want to loose his entire city again.

Many of the nearby cities who had helped put out the flames, now helped with the rebuilding. The king also found a nearby country full of cities who were ready and willing to help. They brought him supplies and support. They shared ideas and formed a community.

The king could hardly believe it. In his wildest dreams, he never could have imagined a city like this. Buildings strong and firm. People content and happy. He discovered people living in his city that he never even knew existed, even though they had been there all along. And the relationship with the other cities continued. They would visit each other frequently. And the king even helped some of the other cities with their own problems. His was no longer an isolated city, independent and sufficient to itself. It was now part of a community.

D-Day

I am now legally divorced. I went before the judge this morning. After 5 or 10 minutes and a bunch of general questions, it was over. No big to do. A bit anticlimatic. But I had been warned about that. I left the courthouse at 9:40, not quite realizing what just happened.

It is interesting how we can cycle through grief again and again. I feel as if I have re-experienced it all again in one day. The anxiety, apprehension, and fear beforehand. A 5 minute discussion that changed the rest of my life. The uncertainty and uneasiness afterward. And now relief that another chapter of my life has closed. I have been granted grace for an immature and naive mistake. I have been given a second chance. And that is an amazing feeling.

God in Movies

Sometimes it's easy to see pictures of God in movies that I watch. Sometimes it's not so easy. A few weeks ago in CPE, we watched the movie Anger Management, and we talked about it today. One of the questions we had to answer was where is God in this film? Is God embodied or is God's presence implied? I had seen this movie several times, and had never thought about this question. But as I thought about it, I did begin to see a picture of God.

I can see the character of Buddy Rydell (Jack Nicholson) as embodying some aspects of God. This was illustrated most in the way that Dave (Adam Sandler) didn’t understand Buddy’s methods or ways, and yet it for his learning and growth, and ended up giving him everything he wanted. It reminded me of how I do not always understand why God does things a certain way, and how it seems crazy at times, but in the end, it all makes sense. However, Buddy was manipulative in his approach, whereas God allows us freedom to choose to follow His plans. Buddy set-up the entire court process, and then used the threat of jail to force Dave to follow his methods. God lets us choose if we want to trust His methods.

As we talked about it today, several people were surprised at the thought of Buddy as God. If you've seen the movie, you can understand why. But the reality is that God can be seen in every human relationship. And sometimes we have to look to see it. He can be found in the most unlikely places, or the most unlikely movies.

Emotional Vicodin

I had two of my wisdom teeth removed almost two weeks ago. The pain wasn’t as bad as a lot of the stories I had heard, but it was still painful. I iced it a lot, and took Vicodin every 4 hours, and that helped keep it bearable. I have also had a lot of emotional and mental pain in the last few weeks. Last night, the question came to me, "Is there an emotional Vicodin? Something that doesn't remove the pain, but dulls it to a bearable level?" I continued to chew on that for a little while. There is so much that we can do to ease physical pain, it seems there would have to be something for emotional pain.

For me, it would be friends. When I am slammed with emotional pain and trauma, I turn to my close friends. Whether we talk about the problem, talk about nothing, or just sit and watch a movie, it's comforting to simply know that I'm not alone. To know that there are people who care about me, and who are willing to do anything to help me, does a lot to dull the pain. The problem is still there, there is still pain, but it is bearable. It's manageable.

I have often reflected on the story of Sam and Frodo from The Lord of the Rings. Sam couldn't bear the burden of the ring, but he could support and encourage Frodo. And Frodo wouldn't have made it alone.

To all my friends out there, thank you. The talks, the meals, the movies, the games, they have meant a lot. I wouldn't be where I am today without your support. So thank you.