The Family Stone

A few weeks ago I watched The Family Stone for the first time. It's a really great movie that I would recommend to anyone. The recommendations I had received were so great that I bought it without even seeing it. There were many things in that movie that stood out to me, but there was one line towards the beginning that really jumped out at me. The parents are talking about Meredith, the girlfriend their son Everett has brought home for Christmas. The dad makes the assessment: "She doesn't seem to know herself very well. Which means, I'm afraid, our Everett doesn't know himself very much either." It made me pause the movie and rewind to catch it again. It is something I had never thought about before, but really is true. When we don't know ourselves and are very insecure with who we are, we tend to seek out those same types of people. Otherwise we may have to face the reality that is ourselves, and that is something we are trying to avoid. I definitely saw this in my first marriage as I did not know myself at all. That's one of the inherent dangers of marrying young.

The families' problem with Meredith was not in who she was, it was that she didn't know herself and was very fake. As Ben (one of Everett's brothers) put it, "You have a freak flag; you just refuse to fly it." I love that line! We all have freak flags, aspects of who we are that are unique and strange. Rather than trying to hide them, we need to accept and embrace them as a part of who we are. This doesn't mean we don't grow and change certain aspects. But before any of that can happen, we must acknowledge and accept those things as a part of who we are.