Last night in Orlando

It is 2:48 in the morning, and I don't want to go to bed. Because when I wake up, I have to leave to drive to Michigan. And I don't want this time to end, even though I know it has to, and I need to get a decent nights sleep. It has been a great last day, which is a welcome change from the hellish week I've had. I spent all week trying to sell stuff, with very little success. Friday was a truly horrible day of getting rid of everything, trying to figure stuff out with the larger items, and trying to clean and get out of my apartment. At 10 pm, I said, screw it, I'm done. I had everything cleaned, but couldn't get the bigger stuff out. It was worth paying an extra day of rent. By the time I unloaded the stuff I donated, ate something, and took a shower, it was midnight, and my incredibly foul mood was just starting to improve.

But today was great. We had potluck after church with lots of people, and spent awhile in the pool. I was splashing and fighting with Priscilla and Rachel, which was lots of fun. It reminded me of when I was younger and would fight with my brothers in the pool, except my brothers were much rougher (like trying to dunk me the whole time). Afterwards we went to my apartment to get the rest of the stuff out, which goes much quicker with 4 people than with 1! When we were done with that, we had a special fire in a local park.

This move has made me really sort through and cut back on everything, as I only took what would fit in my car. As I was going through stuff, I found all the old notes and other sentimental stuff I had from Leanna. Initially in the divorce, I decided not to do anything with any of the stuff, because I didn't know what I would want to do with it. But I decided I was now ready to get rid of it. I have moved on from that part of my life. While I won't forget it, I don't need to cling to it or be reminded of all the delusions and lies. So I burned it. The stuff that could not be burned, I wrapped in a bag and smashed the hell out of with the stick I had used to stoke the fire. When the stick broke for the second or third time, I just started stomping on it. A very cathartic experience, to say the least. And I just deleted the wedding video off my computer. 12 gigs in 2 seconds. It is amazing that this stuff can go so quickly. Seven years of memories burned up within a half hour (same with the final court date, oddly enough). We have ceremonies for just about every significant event in our lives (baptism, wedding, baby shower, funeral), but there is nothing for a divorce. In many ways, this was a ceremony demonstrating the finality of it all. The only thing I still have is my wedding band and claddaugh tie-tac (which was like a second wedding band to me). I haven't decided what to do with those, but I am thinking about it. The evening was even more special in that I was joined by several of my closest friends- Susan, Karen, Priscilla, Rachel, and Donna. Interestingly and appropriately enough, all females.

To top it all off, we had some food and then played Texas Hold-Em. It was a lot of fun, and seemed a great way to spend my last night down here. I will miss you all terribly. And the fact that I am still up thinking about it at 3:30 tells you how anxious I am to leave. It amazes me constantly that I have made such great friends down here. It's more than I ever would have dreamed of. I will never forget you, and I hope to come back down soon to visit. I love you all.