Puzzle

This is a puzzle that I have hanging in my living room. It is an expression of my life, and a reminder to me as well.

I have been meeting with a counselor to help me deal with my divorce. One day we were discussing my preoccupation of having others think I am perfect. I know that I’m not perfect, but I like to portray that picture to others. That has been one of the most difficult implications of this divorce for me, it shatters that picture. I had this drive to get everything figured out and have everything be “right”. And I wanted it done quickly, before people saw that I didn’t have it all together. He asked me, “If you are putting together a puzzle, and are missing several pieces, if you put together all the pieces you have, is the puzzle perfect?” It was something I hadn’t really thought about before. If you don’t have all the pieces, it’s impossible to have the entire thing together. I don’t have to have all the pieces in place. In fact, I never will. But that’s OK. I can be happy with having done my best with what I have been given so far. I started a puzzle to illustrate and remind me of this concept. Some of the pieces I have lost (or should I say my cat lost for me). Some places I looked and looked for the right piece, and could never find it. Some pieces I have, I just haven’t gotten them in place right now.

Like any metaphor, it’s not perfect. In retrospect, if this is an expression of my life, I should have a lot more pieces missing! But I got caught up with putting the puzzle together, and didn’t want to stop. When you’re working with a puzzle, after you’ve put a piece in place, you can be pretty sure that it’s in the right place. In life, it’s not that easy. I have often discovered pieces that I thought were in the right place were not. There are also times that pieces I had in place fall out. In life, it’s rarely a continually steady progression. But despite these differences, this puzzle has been a powerful reminder to me that I am “a work in progress”, and that’s OK. I can hang my incompleteness proudly on my wall for others to see. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.

By the way, the puzzle is of Thomas Kinkade’s painting Courage.